By: Dalia Rashwan

It is crystal clear for every one that the dialogues among men , women, families , neighbors and relatives are always  revolving around one of the following:

 -         What is your husband's news?

-         Have you seen what she has done?

-         I blame her for doing so and so

-         I am fed up with her for doing so and so…..

-         She told me a secret and for only you I shall reveal it.

-         I heard her spoke ill about you.

-         I heard that she bought a luxurious car , but how come , how she got the money?!

-         Did you see the present her husband brought to her? I envy her.

-         I saw her talking to a man yesterday, what relationship between them do you think?!

-         I bought these clothes yesterday from one of the most  luxurious shops.

-         Do you know the most updated fashions on………?

-         My children did and did, I can not stand for that.

-         What have I did in my life to face all these miserable things?

 To sum up :

 Backbiting, speaking ill of others, falsehood , faking, slandering of  chaste married women, envy, disclosure of secrets, talking about marriage secrets , adoring of publishing broadcast mischief  and slander among believers, complaint ,lying….etc.

 Then we say:

 Thank God we do nothing wrong and sleep with tranquility and with our conscience at ease?!!!!!

 The reply to any reminding of the right way is as follows:

 1)  This is only release of suffering or shall we hide till we blast.

 2)  It is only wasting of time.

 3) All  our life we always do that .

 4) What things we can do other than that.

We shall handle each point of the above in details as follows:

 Point No. (1) : Just Relief:

 There are rules for relief of suffering  as it should not be  backbiting and talking ill of others like the types mentioned above .

 Should there is any complaint, it should not be in the form of complaining from Allah's destiny or dissatisfaction with Allah's  willing. Complaining should not be but only to those can help you out the problem or according to the great verse of sourat Al-Assr in Koran : " Join together in the mutual teaching of truth and of patience and constancy".

  Point No. (2) : Just Wasting Time:

 The main reason for the problems of saying nonsense among people is simply " leisure of time" . Once any one has neither real role in life nor substantial interests or useful and serious objectives in life, he or she has nothing to do other than talking with other and about others to waste the ample time.

 Point No. (3) :Usually we do that along our lives.:

 Please consider the great verses of Koran as follows:

 " When Moses came to them with our clear signs they said: " this is nothing but soccery faked up : never did we hear the like among our fathers of old."  Sourat AL-Kassas  ( The Stories) ( Verse No. 36)

 " The chiefs of the unbelievers among his people said : " He is no more than man like yourselves, his wish is to assert his superiority over you, if Allah had wished ( to send messengers) He could have sent down angles, never did we hear such a thing ( as he says) among our ancestors of old."

 Sourat AL-Moamenon  ( Believers) ( Verse No. 36)

 Point No. (4) :What shall we say other than that:

 Here we are to solve the problem. Why do not we change our dialogues and try to comply with the following:

 ×     To Exchange useful experiences in different fields like:  house keeping, bringing up of children, and for men the work experiences.

 ×     We can fill in our time by talking about fruitful things like: understanding some verses of Koran by explanation , reminding ourselves with some orders of Allah that we may forget or talking about lovely words of one of Moslem Scholars. That is to say try to contemplate on some of religious subjects.

 ×     We can remind ourselves with Allah's blessings for us and therefore we will apply Almighty Allah's saying in Koran : " but the bounty of your Lord rehearse and proclaim". Sourat Al-Douha    ( Verse No.11) 

 ×     To exchange our opinions on the circumstances of both ourselves and others . Therefore, try to help each other.

 ×     To cooperate in helping one another in righteousness and piety and help not one another in sin and rancor and thus urge each other to make righteous deeds.

 ×     To encourage each other to replace our ill manners with good ones.

 ×     To Join together in the mutual teaching of truth and of patience and constancy.

 

**** May be to change ourselves is something difficult at the first step but with serious trials and struggling, Almighty Allah will open the way and help us . To struggle to change yourself for better is hard thing but believe me it gives you all happiness in the here and the hereafter.

 May Allah bless all of you.

Translated By Zainab Suliman