Marriage is a sacred procedure in Islam, When a girl reaches the age of marriage it is customary for the Muslim parents to play a major role in the choice of the husband, but she must be consulted. It is reported that when a girl came to the Prophet complaining that she had been married without being consulted, the Prophet directed that she was free to have the marriage dissolved if she wished.

Nowadays educated Muslim girls are having a greater say in the choice of husband, but it is still considered that the parents' opinion of the boy is of great importance.

When a girl or woman is married it is an essential part of the marriage for the bridegroom to give her a dowry (mahr), which may be of any value agreed upon. This dowry is not like the old European dowry which was given by a father to a daughter on her marriage and thence became the husband's property. Nor is the Muslim dowry like the African "bride-price" which is paid by the bridegroom to the father as a form of payment or compensation. The Muslim dowry is a gift from the bridegroom to the bride and it becomes her exclusive property. And It remains her property even if she is later divorced.

And if divorce is decided on, the good treatment is still required. The Qur'an says:

"Then keep them in all decency or part from them decently. It is not lawful for you to take anything you have given them" (2:229).

Thus Qur'an also says:

"Once you divorce women and they have reached the end of their waiting period, then either retain them in all decency or part from them in decency. Do not retain them unjustly so that you exceed the limit; anyone who does that merely hurts himself" (2:231)

For the procedure of divorce, if the husband seeks divorce the woman should wait three monthly cycles during which her husband remains responsible for her welfare and maintenance. He is not permitted to drive her out of the house during this period. She has been advised not to leave the house of the divorcing husband, in order to enhance the chances of reconciliation, as well as to protect her right of sustenance during the three months waiting period. The main purpose of this waiting period is to clarify whether the divorced wife is or is not expecting a child. Its second use is as a cooling-off period during which the relatives and other members of the family or of the community may try to help towards a reconciliation and better understanding between the partners. The Qur'an says:

"And if you fear a breach between the two, then appoint judge from his people and a judge from her people; if they both desire agreement, Allah will effect harmony between them, surely Allah is Knowing, Aware." (4:35).

If they are reconciled they may resume the marriage relations at any time within the waiting period, if divorce is pronounced for three times, so the wife has to leave the house and is free after three monthly cycles to marry another man.

The first husband is not then permitted to remarry her unless she has in the meantime married another man and been divorced in usual legal manner.

But if the wife seeks divorce against the wish of the husband she may take her case to the court and obtain divorce.

An instance was reported at the time of the Prophet when a woman came to him saying that although her husband was a good man and she had no complaint against his treatment, she disliked him greatly and could not live with him. The Prophet directed that she should return to the husband a garden which he had given to her as her dowry, as the condition of her divorce. This procedure is sanctioned in the Qur'an where Allah says:

"And if you fear that they may not be able to keep the limits of Allah, then there is no sin for either of them, if the woman redeems herself with that" (2:229).

Kind treatment of wives and families is a part of the religion in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad has said:

"From among the believers are those who have the kindest disposition and are kindest to their families, such are those who show most perfect faith".

And according to another hadith:

"The best among you are those who are kindest to their wives".

Divorce is taken to be a last resort in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad said:

"Of all the things Allah has permitted, the one He most dislikes is divorce".

The law of Islam does not therefore compel unhappy couples to stay together, but its procedures help them to find a basis on which they can be reconciled with each other. If reconciliation is impossible the law does not impose any unnecessary delay or obstacle in the way of either partner's remarriage.

Compiled from various sources

Edited by: Heba Ahmad